SPORTS BUZZ: With Jon Buzby

After the excitement of this past week, I’m starting to think every baseball team should be eligible for the play-in games. I would have watched my first Phillies game in two months.

But now that the baseball playoffs are actually under way, here’s what you won’t see …

— Ninth-inning gems by Mariano Rivera.

— Press conference gems by Charlie Manuel.

— The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (What else is there in Cleveland to highlight on the broadcast?)

— Games played the old-fashioned way – without instant replay.

— Reds players’ wives being assaulted by Pirates fans. (Beware Cardinal wives.)

— The Pirates at home with their wives and kids watching the playoffs singing “We are Family.”

— The beginning of the eleven o’clock new.

— Discussions about how the Marlins are so good despite paying players minimum wage.

— Discussions about how the only reason the Yankees are in the playoffs is because of their exorbitant payroll.

— Bucs quarterback Josh Freeman in the bleachers cheering on the Rays.

— Freeman under center on Sunday. (Oh, wait, that’s the NFL.)

— Fried chicken and beer in the Red Sox locker room.

— Bud Selig. Oh wait, that’s not for another two long years.

And here’s what you can look forward to seeing …

— Players’ breath fogging in front of their faces in Detroit.

— Players’ sweat beading down their necks in Tampa.

— Lots of camera time for Magic Johnson in L.A.

— The tomahawk chop in Atlanta.

— Politically correct Americans protesting the tomahawk chop.

— The Braves not win the World Series again.

And in other news …

— Everyone talks about the high altitude in Denver affecting visiting teams. How come it only seems to affect opposing players when the Broncos have an elite quarterback?

— The good news for Eagles fans is that it looks like four wins might win the division. Unfortunately, I don’t think one of them is going to come against the Giants this week.

— Good news for Steelers fans – you won’t lose this week. #bye

— Good news for Jets fans. Well, actually, there’s not any.

— How soon before companies are paying miked-up quarterbacks to use their name and slogans in the snap count for the television audience to hear?

Peyton Manning could make a fortune with all his barking at the line of scrimmage.

“Seven. Eleven. Coffees. Slurpees. Wide halfback left. Papa Johns. Ten. Ninety-Nine. Friday. Only. Hut. Manny, Moe, Jack. Hut Hut.”

And that’s before his audible.

— Ricky Watters quit his job as football head coach at Oak Ridge High School amid an ongoing investigation during which the former NFL running back was placed on paid leave.

Watters said in an interview that there was a complaint that he used profanity on the sidelines.

If every coach who curses during a game is investigated and, if found guilty, is forced to resign or be fired, high schools won’t have to worry about concussion issues for much longer.

Unfortunately, my guess is there is more to this investigation than Watters is admitting, probably on the advice of his wife, who is an attorney.

Rumor has it the holdup in the investigation is trying to find the answers to two questions: For who? For what?

OVERTIME: The NHL season is under way. I, for one, sort of miss the lockout, especially knowing how much more meaningful the first months of games would be if they started in January.

— The Sixers seem to be doomed before their season even starts due to injuries. And management loves it as they jockey for draft position.

By Jon Buzby

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